Can I Just Serve Non-Alcoholic Beverages At My Cocktail Wedding Reception?

Question from A LITTLE FRAZZLED

Hi Angela: My fiance and I love simplicity. We really want a casual, fun and green reception. Our budget is $5000 for 100 guests. We have booked a beautiful botanical garden patio which comes with an indoor space as well. Now the challenge is figuring out the catering/timing/no alcohol.

We are thinking of having guests arrive at 6:30pm, ceremony at 7pm and then have an hors d\’hoerves and dessert reception. For food, we were thinking of mini u sliders/fries, pizza, gnocchi and a fresh veg salad as well as a decadent dessert station. We will be setting up a couple of sofas and about 30 or so chairs. The wedding is in June so we will be providing guests water bottles, non-alcoholic signature drinks and a paper fan.

Do you think the timing is appropriate? Is it okay to just serve non-alcoholic beverages and a few food items but plenty of it? My research on the internet is mixed and now I am feeling very nervous and frazzled :(

Answer from The Wedding Expert:

Hi and congratulations on your upcoming wedding.

Having your wedding ceremony at 7 p.m., followed by a cocktail reception is perfectly acceptable.  Your hors d’ouvres are casual and a matter of personal preference. As for seating, ensure you have places reserved for the elderly in your family so they have somewhere to sit.  The comfort of your guests is the main focus of any party you throw—whether it be a wedding or a birthday party. Your seating sounds fine.

Etiquette says that you must have champagne or wine to do the toasts, but no other alcohol need be served.  Your idea of non-alcoholic signature drinks is perfectly acceptable.

Food and music are always the main two things people remember about weddings, so ensure you have thought those through fully.

Regarding the food, you need to serve items that do not require people to sit down and eat.  Finger foods are best.  You say that you want a small number of hor d’ouevres, but lots of it.  I would suggest a little larger selection—lots of people have diabetes, high blood pressure and other ailments, and sticking to mostly fried food with a high fat content will be difficult for them.  My suggestion is to have more variety.

If I were planning your wedding, I would suggest items like soup served in little cups, little macaroni and cheese balls, petite swedish meatballs, chicken quesidillas triangles, and vegetable springrolls to keep it simple and inexpensive.  Little skewers with cooked meat cubes, mushroom caps, and triangles of peppers are a healthy alternative.  I would serve the salad in wafer cones to keep it simple, fun and green.  If you are wondering how many hor d’ouevres, I would suggest 3 or 4 more items.  They need not be complicated, just simple, healthy choices.  You can google hors d’ouvres for more ideas.

Your decadent dessert station is a popular choice, but remember those who can’t have sugar or chocolate—fruit and cheese & crackers is a good alternative for them.

As always, the pleasure of your guests is the first consideration of a good host.  Your wedding plans sound great.  Just add a few more items to the food list for those guests that have dietary requirements, and it is fine.

Good luck with your wedding plans, and feel free to contact me if you have further questions.

Angela Fiebelkorn, The Wedding Expert

 

 

How To Choose A Reception Site

Question from Mitch:

Hi Angela, I’m having some confusion on which reception venue to choose for my wedding next yr (March 2011). The top two that I have in  my list are RIO HONDO COUNTRY CLUB in Downey, CA and PACIFIC PALM RESORT in City of Industry.  I have received the quote and wedding packages from them.   RIO Hondo has cheaper catering cost for brunch – $26/head.while Pacific Palm is $40/head (adult) and $20/kids(just 15 out of 150 guests). However, Pacific palm will provide free cake, complimentary room and dance floor rental.  However, the reviews on the food for Pacific Palm is not soo good. I’m having some difficulties in choosing…hope you can help me..thank you!

ANSWER FROM WEDDING EXPERT ANGELA:

Hi Mitch.  It can be fun to choose where to have your reception if you have the right perspective.  First, find out what the cost the RIO has for the things that the PACIFIC PALM will throw in for free.  Then at least you are comparing the same services.

Another thing to consider is that at a wedding it is the food and the music that guests remember the most.  I suggest that you talk to couples who have had their wedding at the PACIFIC PALM in the last month or two, and find out how they found the food quality.  Cooks change regularly, so it is best to check references from past couples.  Having a ‘sample meal’ is not the same, as it is easy to cook a single meal as a sample, and a large meal is prepared differently.

Once you have done these things, the best price and food quality should become apparent.  Good luck and feel free to write again.

Angela Fiebelkorn, Ask the Wedding Expert

How To Decorate Your Wedding on A Budget

One of the biggest problems bride’s have is how to decorate their ceremony and reception site. In this article, I am going to talk about the first step of decorating for your wedding. Step one is not really HOW to do it, but more about WHAT look you are going for and the basics of how to create it.

reception tableIf you want a sophisticated, elegant look, you will mostly use neutral colours. Neutral colours are white, black and brown—all and any shades. Imagine white tablecloths, white napkins, and white chair covers. Then think black accents like a black table runner, wedding favours that are predominantly black. Bridesmaids in lovely silver grey dresses. Your flower bouquets or flower arrangements in any colour combination with black/grey ribbons. Very classy.

Don’t like black at a wedding? Replace it with brown. A deep rich chocolate brown instead of black gives a similar classic look without using black. For a soothing, beautiful look to a room, go with various shades of brown, from deep brown to beige. The secret to decorating with colours that are in the same tones, is to use texture. For example, think about white tablecloths and white chair covers. Layer a beige lace square over the tablecloths. The chairs can be accented with a strip of dark brown sheer fabric that can wrap around the chair back to create a bow at the back. Any flower colour choice would liven up the table, but the overall look is soft and subdued, calm and relaxing. You could pick any colour to go with a look like this.

If you want more of a WOW factor, the secret is contrast. For example, imagine white table cloths, white napkins, white chair covers—a classic white-on-white look. Then, think of any one colour, for example red. It would create contrast and a wow factor. The bigger the pops of red, the greater the wow factor. Small red flower centrepieces would look beautiful and create a wow due to it’s contrast. If you wanted bigger wow, you would have larger red flower centrepieces, for example, and add a similar red colour to drape and accent the head table.

If you wanted a nautical or beach flair to your decor, but still wanted that wow factor, imagine a white-on-white decor with pops of areception table decoration deep, rich blue colour. Having table runners in a simple blue and white strip would immediately give that nautical beach look while still keeping that wedding look. The secret to keeping a certain look classy without looking cheap or taking away from the wedding elegance, is to use those theme elements in a subdued way. The more you use the theme elements, the more you take away from the overall classic wedding look, and move into a theme party look. If the bridesmaid dresses were in the rich blue colour, and you used just that blue colour to accent the guest book table, buffet table, etc. it would keep the stripe in proper balance. Nautical or beach wedding favors could accent the theme in a fun way without taking away from the classy decor.

Another thing to keep in mind when planning your decorations is to have a focal point. The easiest place to create a focal point is the head table. Because the table height is the same as the guest tables, you need to create more height at the head table. One simple method is to rent a backdrop. They come in many shapes and sizes to fit any size head table. Whether you choose the ‘sunlight’ backdrop that give the illusion of windows, or a lattice backdrop to accent your garden theme, these are just a few of your options. Many reception sites have these available on site, or through a local supplier. If they don’t have it available, you can check out a local wedding rental supplier in your city.

If you wanted to create more of a wow factor to your focal point, a simple solution is to use a few tall flower or plant stands with the backdrop to add a greater pop of colour with your wedding flowers. These are readily available for rent at any wedding supplier, but always check with your reception site to see what they have available. Using table skirting and draping the head table in your wedding colours are also simple methods to accent the head table without breaking the bank.

These examples are all simple ways to decorate. You can get much more elaborate if you choose, but if budget is a factor, simple elegance with pop creates a great wow factor.

Wedding Reception Music

The music that you choose for your wedding reception will set the tone and mood for your wedding.  How do you know what music to choose?

The first decision is whether to have a DJ or to have a band.  Usually a band will be more expensive, but a good DJ will also cost good money, so depending upon your needs you should compare prices.

One of the first things to consider is how comfortable is the band/DJ with weddings?  Wedding are different than other events.  There are lots of opportunities for the DJ/band to MC the events, and have fun activities to keep the crowd entertained.  Regular DJ’s who just play music are usually not chosen for a wedding reception.  You want the guests to be entertained with fun activities, spot dances, and other activities—yet you don’t want those activities to take over the wedding.  A nice balance should be achieved by an experienced wedding DJ/band.

Then, the kind of music that will be played at the wedding reception is the next decision.  If the majority of your guests are older, as is common with a lot of wedding receptions, it is appropriate to play music they will enjoy.  The food and the music are the two things guests remember the most about a wedding, so appropriate music is very important.

It is common to start the evening with quiet dinner music, followed by music appropriate to the majority of the guests, at a volume that allows for conversation at the guest tables.  As the evening progresses, the music usually becomes more contemporary as the older guests leave.

Many wedding receptions have music like traditional waltz’s, polkas, chauteses, and the butterfly.  Alternatively, appropriate music for country dances like the 2-step and line dance are common.  Classic rock/pop from the 60′s, 70′s, 80′s, 90′s, and 2000′s are also common.  Ideally, a combination of all these types of dances is appropriate for some weddings.

Ask your parent’s for the typical dances for their generation, since many of the guests will be of their age.  You will be familiar with the music that your friends like, so you can also suggest that to your DJ/band.

Ethic songs are also a nice touch at a wedding, that also add to the overall wedding theme.  Think about latin influenced music, or specific songs that are common to your family tradition.

The typical types of wedding music are:  rock/pop, funk/hip hop, latin, R&B, country, dance mixes, big band/swing, or reggae. Whatever  your wedding music choices, be sure to consider the age of all your guests, so all will have an opportunity to dance to music they know and love.  Most people will not dance to music they do not know.

How Do I Ask Who Will Attend The Ceremony and Who Will Attend The Reception? – Ask The Wedding Expert

Question from Eloisa:

Hi, It’s me again. I wanted to ask on the response cards should I put who will attend the ceremony & who will attend the Lunch Buffet?  The ceremony will start at about 11:30 am and the lunch buffet will start about 1 pm and so with the distances some or all the guests would have to travel I don’t know how many would come for both or decide to come for the lunch buffet. If I do have the response cards written like that, can you give me an example on how to write it.  Thank you for your help.

Answer from Wedding Expert Angela:

Hi Eloisa, nice to hear from you.  To ask who will be attending the ceremony is usually not done.  Do you have a reason for wanting to know?  (i.e. setting up the room differently with different number of guests?)  Usually response cards are to know how many people will be attending your event (the whole event), and the numbers are needed to give the caterer.

Are you making your own invitations, or are you purchasing invitations and response cards?  Usually purchased response cards do not have anything about the ceremony and reception as separate events. Unless you have a pressing need to know how many people are attending the ceremony, it is proper etiquette not to ask.  Most people will attend both ceremony and reception when invited to an anniversary (or wedding).  Few people will attend just part of the event when they were invited for the entire event.

Standard response card wording is:

M___________________________________

________accepts

________regrets

Saturday the 10th of October

Silver Heights Community Centre

NOTE:  The M can be eliminated if you choose, just leaving a blank line for the guest names.

or

The favour of your reply is requested

by the twenty-fourth of September

M_____________________________________

will ____________ attend

When people fill out the response cards, the assumption is that they will be attending the entire event.

If you have further questions, feel free to ask.

Angela Fiebelkorn, certified wedding planner

How Do I Do A Cocktail Style Wedding Reception? – Ask The Expert Answer

Question from Leah:

Hi!  I recently decided to do a cocktail style reception for my wedding.  We have too many guests for a sitdown dinner at our venue and don’t want to cut our guest list.  I was wondering if you have some ideas on how to keep the reception “wedding like?”  We want the elegance of a sitdown to dinner and want to incorporate some of the traditional components to a reception (ie. announcement of the wedding party, toasts/speeches, cutting of the cake, etc) I would like to have a head table still but don’t know how to do that because we are unable to have enough tables and chairs for all our guests. Do you have ideas on how to keep the ‘wow factor’ and have guests talking about the reception when most of them want the traditional sit down dinner?  What are some unique ideas for the cocktail reception.

Answer from Bridal Expert Angela:

What Colour Is Appropriate For A Hawaiian Beach Wedding? – Ask The Wedding Expert Answer

Question from Celeste:

We are going to Maui to renew our 30th wedding anniversary vows and are going to be on the beach with my sister and her fiance who will then get married after us (not their first marriage).  It will only be the four of us and we would like to know if any color of dress would be appropriate to wear.  We want this to be fun and very, very informal.

Answer from Wedding Expert Angela:

Hi Celeste, and congratulations on your upcoming anniversary.  Maui is great!  How wonderful that your sister will be getting married at the same time!  You will have a great fun, I am sure.

As for what to wear, well, with an informal occasion like you are describing, anything goes.  But I am sure you want to create some sense of occasion with your attire.  For an anniversary dress, I suggest you look through the bridesmaid dresses for a beautiful t-length (cocktail) dress.  Any colour will work for an anniversary.  You could ‘go native’ and pick up a Hawaiian sundress once you are there—accented with a great hat and flowers.

As for your sister, who is getting married, I am sure she would like the perfect destination wedding dress.  But forget the usual, stuffy dresses!  Go for something simple in lace to give it some presence.  Many bridesmaid dresses come in white (as well a variety of other beautiful colours) and they make a perfect informal wedding dress at a great price.  It is more and more common that brides (even first time brides) are choosing a wedding dress in a variety of colours from pale green to full coloured blue or red gowns.  Anything goes when it comes to colour, especially at an informal wedding.  There are also great bridal flip-flops that are quite elegant and perfect for the beach.

Encore weddings (where the bride is getting married again) usually sees the bride in a couture suit, cocktail dress, or simple wedding gown.  An encore bride usually wears a hat, hair ornaments or fresh flowers in their hair instead of a veil.

If you check out the links, it will lead you to literally thousands of dresses, some in over 50 colours.  Enjoy shopping!

Angela Fiebelkorn, The Wedding Expert

Can I Use Postcards For A RSVP Card? – Ask The Wedding Expert Answer

Question from Stacey:

First off I love your web sites, I’ve found lots of helpful information on them.

My question has to do with RSVP cards, I’m making my own invitations and RSVP cards and to save money on envelopes I was thinking of making the RSVP cards postcard style, and I was wondering if this would be an appropriate idea.

Thank you for any advice you could give.

Answer from Bridal Expert Angela:

Hi Stacey, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding.  Formal weddings have all kinds of etiquette rules about wedding invitations—from the paper colour to the type of printing, and so forth.  So, I am assuming you are having a contemporary or informal wedding.

I have to congratulate you on making your own invitations!  Most people can’t be bothered to go through the work involved.  Have you seen the video I made on wedding invitation wording?  You might find it helpful.

As for the RSVP cards, having postcards is a lovely idea.  It gives you the opportunity to really personalize your wedding, and create a great statement.  Although, this is not something that is ‘traditional’, it is a modern alternative.

Congratulations, and if you have further questions, feel free to ask!

Angela Fiebelkorn, Ask The Wedding Expert
certified WPIC Wedding Planner and Coordinator

How Do I Go About Planning A Destination Wedding? – Ask The Wedding Expert Answer

Question from Janette:

Hi, I was wondering if you have to be divorced to have a commitment ceremony? Also, if you go to Mexico or anywhere around there does it work the same there as it does here?  Thanks!

Answer from Bridal Expert Angela:

Hi Janette.  No, you do not have to be divorced to have a commitment ceremony.  If you choose to have a commitment ceremony, do so!  When you ask ‘does it work the same there as here’ I am assuming you mean how you would get married somewhere else?  Well, as every province in Canada, and state in the US had different marriage requirements, so does every province in Mexico.  Check out this article on Mexico marriage license requirements.

Almost all resort hotels have a wedding coordinator, and they can tell you what the marriage requirements are.  Often you need to get blood tests or have specific types of documents with you that state you can be married (proof of divorce and so forth).  Some places require that you get the blood tests there, and that they cannot be brought with you.  So, do a google search for your chosen location to see what their marriage requirements are.  Contact the resort you plan to visit to see if they have a wedding coordinator that can help you arrange a destination wedding.

If you have further questions, feel free to ask.

Angela Fiebelkorn, Ask The Wedding Expert

Where Do I Start Planning My Wedding? – Ask The Wedding Expert Answer

Question from Carrie:

We are planning a May 2010 wedding in Toronto Ontario and have no idea where to start. My church is covering the cost of the service and we are looking into reception halls but can’t find one that suits our needs and budget.  Once we do find one, what is the next step? How early is to early to send out invitations? How much time do I have before the vendors will expect payment? Our budget is not very high and since we are paying for everything ourselves we are looking for all the help we can get.

Answer from Wedding Expert Angela:

Hi Carrie, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding.  Check out this article I wrote on how to choose your wedding reception site.  It will give you points and tips on what you should be looking for.  Usually, when you book a site, you are expected to put some money down to confirm your booking.  Each venue has it’s own rules for when they want the rest of the payment, so you will need to ask them what their payment policy is.

One of the important things to decide, especially on a limited budget, is what kind of wedding reception you want.  You have a choice of a meal reception or a non-meal reception.

MEAL WEDDING RECEPTIONS

Your typical choices for meal wedding receptions are: Breakfast (9 am to 11 am), Lunch (11 am to 2 pm), Brunch (10 am to 3 pm) and Dinner (6 pm to 9 pm).  Sunrise weddings or early morning weddings are gaining popularity because it allows a full day for activities from the formal breakfast or lunch reception, flowing into unique ways to celebrate the wedding that flow into the evening.  Depending upon the character of the couple, other activities range from a theme park romp in the evening, to more classic events like a opera or musical, to a home-style fire pit complete with musicians, dancing and a sing-a-long.

NON MEAL WEDDING RECEPTIONS

Then you have your non-meal wedding receptions which is the easiest way to save money on your wedding, and still enjoy a great celebration.  Some couples might choose a Tea or High Tea Reception (3 pm to 5 pm), a Cocktail Reception (5 pm to 7 pm), or a Dessert Reception (9 pm to midnight).  The evening wedding at 7 pm, followed by a “Champagne and Dessert Reception” with dancing well into the night has become much more popular, and is less costly than a meal reception.

WEDDING PLANNING TIMELINE

Your wedding planning timeline is of prime importance, and this wedding planning checklist should get you started.  This video I made on the wedding planning timeline will also help.

The most important thing you can do with your fiance is to sit down a talk about your wedding vision—how you’ve both always thought your wedding would be.  Yes, men have wedding dreams too, so be sure to ask what he has always dreamed of.  If you plan your wedding vision thoroughly, it will make the rest of your wedding plans so much easier because the major decisions will have already been made.  The wedding planning checklist above gives you the timeline for ordering wedding invitations, and mailing them out.

Good luck, and if you have further questions, feel free to ask.

Angela Fiebelkorn, Wedding Planner