Question from Lia:

I am getting married in Germany and then staying there since my husband is German. I am having a big shower which my school is organizing, with all the church ladies here in Canada before I leave (around 90 women).  I was asked about the list, but my parents chose most of the shower guests. Do I need to send every single person a wedding invitation as well? Or is an announcement appropriate? I know the vast majority won’t come.  If I send an invitation how do I do with RSVP since I did not want to spend money on the reply cards. It has been very difficult to know what to do.
Thanks.

Answer from Wedding Expert Angela:

Hi Lia, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding.  It is proper etiquette that everyone invited to a bridal shower be invited to the wedding.  The exception to this is if coworkers decide to throw a shower for the bride to show their support.  If it is known that you are going to be married in Germany, and that the shower is to show their support, it would be acceptable to not invite them to the wedding.  In that case, it would be similar to the situation of coworkers who are rarely invited to a wedding. 

It is extremely important in this case that each person who gives you a gift receives a proper thank you note—hand written expressing your gratitude for the gifts received. 

If you have further questions, feel free to email again.

Angela Fiebelkorn, The Wedding Expert