My son is getting married next month. The colour sheme is purple and turquoise.  What colours would be suitable for me to wear so as not to clash?  Thank you.

Answer from Wedding Expert Angela:

Hi Carey.   If they have chosen an accent colour that is used sparingly, this might be a nice colour for you to use as it would tie you into the over-all colour scheme. Basically, you don’t want to be the same colour as the bride or the wedding attendants.  Pretty well any other colour will work, but YOU need to look good in the colour you choose.  No sense choosing a colour that makes you look sickly or washed out—even if it works with the wedding colours.

The complementary colour for purple is yellow, and the complimentary colour for turquoise is orange.  So any colour in that range like orange, melon, peach, pale yellow, etc. would work.

Harmonious colours for purple are voilet, lavender, and similar shades, as well as blue—from navy to sky blue.  Harmonious colours for turquoise are blues which we have just covered, as well as greens.

The key thing here is to ensure that the bride shines.  I have a friend who has exquisite but an exotic taste in clothing.  She told me that when her son was getting married, he told her no gold, no sparkles, no animal prints, no big jewellery, and so forth.  Since that was her style, she was in a great dither about what to wear.   We eventually found her a lovely dress that suited her personality, but didn’t take attention away from the bride and the wedding party.

Choose a colour that suits you, and avoid the same colours as the wedding party.  And if you don’t like a lot of colour, neutrals are ALWAYS are appropriate.  For a wedding, stick to grey tones (instead of black); browns can be deep chocolate brown to pale tan colours; and avoid white for this occasion.

Check out this video to learn more about wedding colour choices.

Good luck, and if you have further questions feel free to ask!

Angela Fiebelkorn, Wedding Expert

I was hoping you can share your advice.

My son announce last spring that he was going to get married next year. He called me yesterday and told me he got married by the justice of the peace a week ago, but they will still have a ceremony next year.

Should we send a gift now or when the ceremony takes place?

Answer from The Wedding Expert:

Hi.  It is becoming more and more common for couples to have a simple marriage with the Justice of the Peace or Marriage Commissioner, and then (when they can afford it) have the wedding celebration.  All gifts are just that—a gift given because the giver chooses to give one.  When it comes to weddings, the proper etiquette is to give a gift after a wedding invitation has been received.

As the father of the groom, there are traditional costs that the groom’s family pays for.  Two main things are an engagement party for the groom’s side of the family and the rehearsal dinner.  Both are optional events and not everyone holds engagement parties or rehearsal dinners.  Then there is a list of costs that is usually covered by the groom and the groom’s family.  This list can vary, and there is no hard and fast rule, but costs usually include the boutonnieres for the groomsmen, and the bride’s bouquet; transportation costs; marriage license and church costs; honeymoon, etc.  With the cost of weddings, sometimes the groom’s family will instead contribute a set amount of money toward the wedding costs, or offer to pay for specific parts of the wedding, like the liquor at the reception.

Whether you choose to contribute to the wedding, or just give a gift depends upon the financial situation that families find themselves in.  If a family contributes to the wedding, the gift given is usually smaller than if they don’t contribute to the wedding.  You might want to consider that before you decide to give a gift now or later.

It seems to me that you feel like you should be giving them a gift at this time.  If you heart is urging you to do so, then I recommend you do it.  If you want to contribute to the wedding costs, you can also offer to do that.  A gift is something given freely from the heart of the giver, and there is no right or wrong.

Enjoy the wedding.  A year comes quickly and there is a lot of wedding planning within that time period.

Angela Fiebelkorn, The Wedding Expert

Hi, I was looking for some advice on a wedding dress. I was looking into more of a trumpet/mermaid type dress, since I like the shape it gives, but the only problem I have is i dont know if one of those types will compliment my body. I am 5′2 and 125 pounds. I have more of an hourglass shape but the problem is my breasts. They are very large (DD) and I was wondering If i’d be able to pull off a trumpet shape. I already know I don’t want to go strapless, but what kind of straps would work best? Thanks for your time.

Answer from Wedding Expert Angela:

Hi Taylor, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding.  It sounds like a trumpet style dress would look good on  your body type, but there is only one way to know for sure—-try it on.  Trumpet style dresses come with a variety of bodices that include a halter style, square neckline with cap sleeves, and v-neckline with halter or standard bodice.  Some have lace jackets with long sleeves which the bride will wear at the church, and then remove at the reception.

In fact, there is every kind of bodice you can think of.  For example, a strapless square bodice like the Allure Bridals 8301 actually makes a full bust look smaller because of the style of the bodice.  Good support is necessary and you could go strapless if you wanted to.  Many wedding dresses have built in support, while with other styles, good support can be supplied by appropriate undergarments.   Allure Bridals M402 wedding dress is a mermaid style with capped sleeves and a square neckline and the Alfred Angelo 2021 has a nice secure halter bodice.  You can find all these wedding dresses by following this link and clicking through any of the dresses you see.  Then, just type in the styles I’ve mentioned in the search box once you are there.

Being 5′ 2″, you want to ensure that your dress style does not make you look short and squat.  Avoid anything too heavy or busy on the bottom part of the dress.  The overall look should flow from top to bottom giving you a long silhouette.  You might consider an A-line style or Empire style with a fitted bodice with dropped waist (to the thighs).  Not a true mermaid style, but allows you to show off your shape and still get the length.  Allure Bridals 8612 or the Alfred Angelo 1145 with a basque waist gives you shape flattering contours and the length you need from A-line skirt.  Remember, not all A-line skirts are that ‘big and flowy’—you might prefer an a-line skirt with a slender silhouette.

The Alfred Angleo 1151 is a dropped waist with an A-line skirt allowing you to show off great curves, and keep the silhouette pretty simple.  I think for someone 5′ 2″ that skirt is a little too busy, and I would choose something simplier in style.  My sister-in-law is just over 5′ and wore a mermaid style dress at her wedding.  She looked stunning.  I think it will suit you, but try some on and see.  If you order on-line (less expensive than bridal salons) make sure you purchase a dress size based on your largest measurement.  Wedding dress sizing is weird (to say the least) so it is best to ignore it, and go by the measurements.  Parts can always be taken in—as long as it fits the largest part of you.

Have fun shopping, and feel free to email again!

Angela Fiebelkorn, wedding planner

If you want a sophisticated, elegant look, you will mostly use neutral colours. Neutral colours are white, black and brown—all and any shades. Imagine white tablecloths, white napkins, and white chair covers. Then think black accents like a black table runner, wedding favours that are predominantly black. Bridesmaids in lovely silver grey dresses. Your flower bouquets or flower arrangements in any colour combination with black/grey ribbons. Very classy.

Don’t like black at a wedding? Replace it with brown. A deep rich chocolate brown instead of black gives a similar classic look without using black. For a soothing, beautiful look to a room, go with various shades of brown, from deep brown to beige. The secret to decorating with colours that are in the same tones, is to use texture. For example, think about white tablecloths and white chair covers. Layer a beige lace square over the tablecloths. The chairs can be accented with a strip of dark brown sheer fabric that can wrap around the chair back to create a bow at the back. Any flower colour choice would liven up the table, but the overall look is soft and subdued, calm and relaxing. You could pick any colour to go with a look like this.

If you want more of a WOW factor, the secret is contrast. For example, imagine white table cloths, white napkins, white chair covers—a classic white-on-white look. Then, think of any one colour, for example red. It would create contrast and a wow factor. The bigger the pops of red, the greater the wow factor. Small red flower centrepieces would look beautiful and create a wow due to it’s contrast. If you wanted bigger wow, you would have larger red flower centrepieces, for example, and add a similar red colour to drape and accent the head table.

If you wanted a nautical or beach flair to your decor, but still wanted that wow factor, imagine a white-on-white decor with pops of a deep, rich blue colour. Having table runners in a simple blue and white strip would immediately give that nautical beach look while still keeping that wedding look. The secret to keeping a certain look classy without looking cheap or taking away from the wedding elegance, is to use those theme elements in a subdued way. The more you use the theme elements, the more you take away from the overall classic wedding look, and move into a theme party look. If the bridesmaid dresses were in the rich blue colour, and you used just that blue colour to accent the guest book table, buffet table, etc. it would keep the stripe in proper balance. Nautical or beach wedding favors could accent the theme in a fun way without taking away from the classy decor.

Another thing to keep in mind when planning your decorations is to have a focal point. The easiest place to create a focal point is the head table. Because the table height is the same as the guest tables, you need to create more height at the head table. One simple method is to rent a backdrop. They come in many shapes and sizes to fit any size head table. Whether you choose the ’sunlight’ backdrop that give the illusion of windows, or a lattice backdrop to accent your garden theme, these are just a few of your options. Many reception sites have these available on site, or through a local supplier. If they don’t have it available, you can check out a local wedding rental supplier in your city.

If you wanted to create more of a wow factor to your focal point, a simple solution is to use a few tall flower or plant stands with the backdrop to add a greater pop of colour with your wedding flowers. These are readily available for rent at any wedding supplier, but always check with your reception site to see what they have available. Using table skirting and draping the head table in your wedding colours are also simple methods to accent the head table without breaking the bank.

These examples are all simple ways to decorate. You can get much more elaborate if you choose, but if budget is a factor, simple elegance with pop creates a great wow factor.

In addition to publicly answering your questions at no cost, Angela Fiebelkorn is available to help you plan your wedding.  Whether you want to hire a wedding planner, or just want to purchase some wedding planning consulting time,  Angela and her team are available to you.

Ask your wedding planning questions below, and we will post the question and answers under our Ask The Expert column.

The first decision is whether to have a DJ or to have a band.  Usually a band will be more expensive, but a good DJ will also cost good money, so depending upon your needs you should compare prices.

One of the first things to consider is how comfortable is the band/DJ with weddings?  Wedding are different than other events.  There are lots of opportunities for the DJ/band to MC the events, and have fun activities to keep the crowd entertained.  Regular DJ’s who just play music are usually not chosen for a wedding reception.  You want the guests to be entertained with fun activities, spot dances, and other activities—yet you don’t want those activities to take over the wedding.  A nice balance should be achieved by an experienced wedding DJ/band.

Then, the kind of music that will be played at the wedding reception is the next decision.  If the majority of your guests are older, as is common with a lot of wedding receptions, it is appropriate to play music they will enjoy.  The food and the music are the two things guests remember the most about a wedding, so appropriate music is very important.

It is common to start the evening with quiet dinner music, followed by music appropriate to the majority of the guests, at a volume that allows for conversation at the guest tables.  As the evening progresses, the music usually becomes more contemporary as the older guests leave.

Many wedding receptions have music like traditional waltz’s, polkas, chauteses, and the butterfly.  Alternatively, appropriate music for country dances like the 2-step and line dance are common.  Classic rock/pop from the 60’s, 70’s, 80’s, 90’s, and 2000’s are also common.  Ideally, a combination of all these types of dances is appropriate for some weddings.

Ask your parent’s for the typical dances for their generation, since many of the guests will be of their age.  You will be familiar with the music that your friends like, so you can also suggest that to your DJ/band.

Ethic songs are also a nice touch at a wedding, that also add to the overall wedding theme.  Think about latin influenced music, or specific songs that are common to your family tradition.

The typical types of wedding music are:  rock/pop, funk/hip hop, latin, R&B, country, dance mixes, big band/swing, or reggae. Whatever  your wedding music choices, be sure to consider the age of all your guests, so all will have an opportunity to dance to music they know and love.  Most people will not dance to music they do not know.

Hi, It’s me again. I wanted to ask on the response cards should I put who will attend the ceremony & who will attend the Lunch Buffet?  The ceremony will start at about 11:30 am and the lunch buffet will start about 1 pm and so with the distances some or all the guests would have to travel I don’t know how many would come for both or decide to come for the lunch buffet. If I do have the response cards written like that, can you give me an example on how to write it.  Thank you for your help.

Answer from Wedding Expert Angela:

Hi Eloisa, nice to hear from you.  To ask who will be attending the ceremony is usually not done.  Do you have a reason for wanting to know?  (i.e. setting up the room differently with different number of guests?)  Usually response cards are to know how many people will be attending your event (the whole event), and the numbers are needed to give the caterer.

Are you making your own invitations, or are you purchasing invitations and response cards?  Usually purchased response cards do not have anything about the ceremony and reception as separate events. Unless you have a pressing need to know how many people are attending the ceremony, it is proper etiquette not to ask.  Most people will attend both ceremony and reception when invited to an anniversary (or wedding).  Few people will attend just part of the event when they were invited for the entire event.

Standard response card wording is:

M___________________________________

________accepts

________regrets

Saturday the 10th of October

Silver Heights Community Centre

NOTE:  The M can be eliminated if you choose, just leaving a blank line for the guest names.

or

The favour of your reply is requested

by the twenty-fourth of September

M_____________________________________

will ____________ attend

When people fill out the response cards, the assumption is that they will be attending the entire event.

If you have further questions, feel free to ask.

Angela Fiebelkorn, certified wedding planner

This nine page document explains the basic principles of using clothing style and cut to create a balanced look to your fashion style. You will define your body shape, and learn which style suits your particular shape.

Whether you have an hour-glass figure, a cone shape, a ruler shape, or pear shape, you will learn to look for the right style details to create the best look for you. You will learn the typical waistlines—empire, natural, basque, or drop waist, and which one is right for you. Is straight skirt better than an A-line skirt for you? Or is the ball gown skirt best?

Filled with pictures to show each style as it is presented, this handy document is a great resource to learn the basic principles of what is best for your body type. Using these principles will give you the knowledge and confidence to make choosing your wedding dress an easy task.

If you have not received your free copy of this document, just subscribe to our SmartBride™ Newsletter, and you will receive this .pdf, as well as The Hidden Meaning of Wedding Flowers three-part video series, and the .pdf Wedding Colour Choices Made Easy by Angela Fiebelkorn.

Because we always strive to respond to the needs of our customers, we would like your opinion of this document. Please take a moment to express how you felt about The Secret to Dressing Your Body Type. Thank you.

• Amaranth
• Red Chrysanthemum
• Clematis
• Coreopsis
• Honeysuckle
• Red Salvia
• Pink Carnation

The Hidden Meaning of Wedding Flowers – Part 2. The series has three videos that explore some of the history of why flowers got their meaning, as well as what they mean. The second video explores the meaning of the following flowers:

• Forget-me-not
• Purple Lilac
• White Lilac
• Peppermint
• Heliotrope
• Peach Blossoms
• Pear Blossoms
• Saxifrage
• Lily

The Hidden Meaning of Wedding Flowers – Part 3. The series has three videos that explore some of the history of why flowers got their meaning, as well as what they mean. The third video explores the meaning of the following flowers:

• Cowslip
• Morning Glory
• Wisteria
• Myrtle
• Red Tulip
• Yellow Tulip
• Water Lily
• Red Rose

To receive these videos, sign up for the SmartBride™ Newsletter.