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Wedding Etiquette for Thank You Notes

April 24, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Sending a thank you card after the wedding is a must. It’s not enough that you thanked each and everyone for coming to your event at the end of the reception. Mailing thank you cards show them that you truly appreciate their presence and gift. And like with everything else in your wedding, thank you cards also follow a certain set of etiquette rules to ensure that you don’t step out beyond the norms or on anybody’s toes.

  • If you think you can let out a huge sigh of relief after the wedding is over, hold onto your breath a little bit longer as you need to accomplish the task of sending out thank you notes as soon as possible. You’re given up to three months to send a thank you note to your guests. But it’s best to send them out within two weeks after the honeymoon. Any gifts received before the wedding should be given prompt acknowledgement.
  • Never send a pre-printed thank you card. It spells tacky no matter how you look at it. Remember, people got out of their way to shop for a special wedding gift, dress up according to your attire specifications and travel to your wedding location. And what do they get in return—a thank you note that you just grabbed from a bookstore? A handwritten thank you note is the only way to go.
  • Give individualized notes. Even if a group gives a gift, you need to send each person a separate thank you note. The exception to the rule is for a couple or a small family. You can send one thank you note per couple or small family and it won’t be considered poor taste.
  • Usually, thank you cards are included in the wedding invitation package. You’ll find that they have a similar pattern or design as the invitations and other stationery items. But if these are not included, the next option is to get a thank you card that has a black inside page. As mentioned earlier, you can’t give away cards with generic or pre-printed wording.
  • While there’s nothing wrong with using pre-printed labels or pre-printed envelopes for the return address, the giver’s address should always be written by hand.
  • Using the person’s first name on the thank you card is acceptable only if you’re close to the person. If not, it’s better to address them by Mr. and/or Mrs.
  • If you have received a monetary gift, you don’t have to mention the amount but it would be nice to tell them how you spent the money. Make sure that it’s something practical and worthwhile. For example, you can say something like, “Dear Mike and Wendi, thank you for your generous gift. It’s always been our dream to see the Caribbean and we were finally able to do so with the help of your gift. We really appreciate it.”
  • It’s also a good idea to mention the specific gift. If you don’t, the giver will never know if you liked it. For example, “Dear Will and Karen, thank you for the beautiful painting that you gave us. Our walls will look livelier with this piece of great artwork. We’ll remember you every time we look at it. Thank you for your thoughtfulness.”

There are countless of ways to say thank you. For your wedding, the best way to do it to send a personal handwritten note of gratitude.

 

 

Filed Under: Etiquette, Stationary Tagged With: ,

Etiquette For Your Wedding Ceremony Program

April 22, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Wedding ceremony programs don’t only give your guests something to peruse while waiting for the processional. These items also give them a preview of what’s going to happen during the ceremony. They also make nice keepsakes that guests can take home and remember your special day by. Obviously, these are important in your wedding celebration so it’s must to exert extra effort in putting these together.

Content
The purpose of the wedding program is to explain the order of the events, list down the songs and readings, and enumerate the names of the wedding party members so basically, these are what you’ll need to include in there. Now, if you want to make it a little more personal, you may include songs or poems that hold special meaning to you.
You may also use the program to list down your “something old, something new and something blue” or give a tribute to a special person who can’t be with you during this momentous celebration. Details to be included in the program are the introduction, ceremony order, names of officiant, musicians and wedding planners, names of wedding party, list of readings, list of songs. Optional details are memorials, short biographies, quotations, song lyrics, explanation of rituals, story of how you first met, and so on.

Format
Wedding ceremony program can come in different formats. It can be printed on a single card, a multi-page booklet or a tri-fold brochure-like card. See to it that the program matches or complements not only the wedding theme but also the rest of the wedding stationery. The cover should be detailed with the couple’s names, date, location and time of ceremony, and a photograph, image or design element.

Recipients
The rule of the thumb is to allot one program per couple and one per single guest. Sharing is not taboo, after all, this would minimize cost and waste. Eco-friendly ways overshadow etiquette rules so do not think of it as improper to attempt to minimize the use of paper. Also remember that not everyone attending the reception will be present in the ceremony.

Distribution
You and your groom don’t have to be the ones to hand out the wedding programs to the guests. This task can be designated to the ushers or some of your friends. Be sure to give them clear instructions on how you want the ceremony programs to be distributed. They can be given at the door of the wedding ceremony venue as each guests come in or they can be placed in the rows of the seats.

Purchase
A good advice to follow is to order the wedding program at the same time you purchase the invitations and other stationery sets. It’s not a bad idea to make your own too. All you need is to have a computer template and printer, and you can easily create your own.
Following etiquette rules on the wedding ceremony program will certainly save you from headaches and stress.

Filed Under: Marriage Preparation Tagged With: ,

Wedding Etiquette Attire For a Formal Wedding

April 18, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Weddings are special occasions and you’re always happy to attend one, especially when the bride or groom is close to your heart. It’s always nice to be a part of another couple’s celebration of love and devotion. However, there are times when the wedding invite leaves you baffled about what to wear. You’re concerned about over-dressing or under-dressing and certainly, you don’t want to commit either boo-boo. You want to hit the middle spot—which is exactly what attire etiquette dictates. Don’t worry. Everything you need to know about attire etiquette for a formal wedding is discussed in detail below.

White Tie
Ah, the most formal of all the wedding dress codes. An invitation that tells you this is required means that you’re restricted as to what to wear. Men are expected to appear dashing in a tuxedo, long black jacket, white pique vest and a bow tie. Finish off the look with a pair of black formal shoes without laces (otherwise known as black opera pumps). For the lovely ladies, a formal floor-length evening gown is the right way to go. Ideally, it should be in a neutral shade such as dark brown or black. They should appear in glamorous makeup, gorgeous hair do, and stunning jewelry.

Black Tie
The next most formal wedding dress code is the black tie. The standard attire for men for this event is a black tuxedo or evening jacket with matching trousers. Black tie, black vest or cummerbund, and suspenders also fit the bill. In some occasions, conservative black suit in lieu of the tuxedo is fine. Women, on the other hand, are offered with two choices: a formal full-length gown or an elegant cocktail dress.

Black Tie Optional
The word “optional” suggests that this event is a little less formal than black tie. Men can wear a tuxedo and follow the black tie attire norms but they can also go for something less formal like a dark suit, white shirt and conservative tie. Ladies can wear a long dress, cocktail dress, dressy separates or even a dressy suit. They have a lot more options on what to wear than the two previous attire requirements.

Creative Black Tie
The creative black tie is not that common but they’re slowly getting more and more popular these days, as it has become a great way to personalize your wedding. For this type of event, men are free to pair their tuxedo with a colorful tie, shirt or cummerbund. It’s anything goes for the women—full length gown, cocktail dresses, or dressy suits finished off with colorful accessories such as shawl, boas, jewelry. It’s called creative black tie because it allows you to be creative with your attire.

Semiformal
Semiformal is like formal but not really. So how do you know what you’re going to wear for this type of event? Dark suit, white shirt and conservative tie are the right choices for gentlemen while the women can appear beautiful in either cocktail dresses or dressy skirts and tops.

Casual
Casual attire is usually asked for in weddings that are held outdoors or at the beach. It’s much more laidback. Men can come in button-down shirt with tie and khaki pants. They can also wear a sport jacket or sweater. Sundress made in light fabric is the perfect choice for women.

Filed Under: Etiquette Tagged With: ,

Who Stands In The Receiving Line At A Wedding? – Ask The Expert Answer

July 29, 2009 By Leave a Comment

Question from Ruth:

Hi again.  I have another question – who is it that stands in the receiving line – wedding party includes candle lighter, ring bearer, Maid of Honour and Best Man.  Do all of them stand in the receiving line, including the parents?  Also, do all of them sit at the head table (excluding parents).  Thanks!

Answer from Wedding Expert Angela:

Hi Ruth.  Nice to hear from you again.  Ah, yes, the receiving line.  It is a ‘rule of etiquette’ that a wedding has a receiving line, although if you don’t have a receiving line, the bride and groom must visit every person invited to the wedding during the evening.  It is much easier to do a receiving line.

THE RECEIVING LINE

A tradition, formal receiving line has, from right to left facing the guests:  the bride’s mother, the groom’s mother, bride, groom, maid of honour, and all of the bridesmaids.  If you so choose, the fathers can be included next to their spouse.  If the fathers aren’t in the receiving line, their “job” is to act as hosts (with the best man) at the reception site, greeting guests, and directing them to the bar for cocktails, and so forth.

A contemporary receiving line can include any of the wedding party that the couple wishes to include.  Usually, it follows this order:  mother of the bride, father of the bride, bride, groom, mother of the groom, father of the groom.

If parents are divorced and relations are strained, the receiving line can be:  mother of the bride, father of the groom, bride, groom, mother of the groom, father of the bride.

If the wedding is under 125 people, the entire wedding party can be included in the receiving line.  This includes the bestman, and groomsmen.  The bestman, will stand next to the maid of honour, and the bridesmaids and groomsmen will be with their wedding party partner inthe lineup.  If the wedding has over 125 guests, the receiving line is usually kept shorter:  bride, groom, mothers of the bride and groom, and the maid of honour.  Again, the fathers can be included or not, as you choose.

It is proper etiquette that each person in the receiving line greet the guest, and introduce them to the next person in the receiving line.  That “next person” then greets the guest, and introduces the next person in the receiving line.  This eliminates the need of your guests to create ‘small talk’ with each person in the receiving line.

If this is a second wedding (commonly called an encore wedding), the parents of the bride and groom will not be in the receiving line unless they are paying for the wedding.  If the couple have children, they can be included in the receiving line (if they want to be there).

THE HEAD TABLE

As for the head table, it is tradition to have the wedding party from left to right (when facing the head table):  bridesmaid, groomsmen, bridesmaid, bestman, bride, groom, maid of honour, groomsmen, bridesmaid, groomsmen.  In addition to this you would have a “parents’ table” (usually seated at the usual 8′ round table) which would have the officiant, groom’s mother, groom’s father, bride’s mother, bride’s father, and two spots of other important persons at the wedding.

The candle lighter, and the ring bearer are not included in the receiving line or head table, although you may choose to honour them by giving them a table of their own next to the parent’s table.  They should be seated with their family members, if at all possible, at this special table.

Many couples choose to also honour their grandparents by having a special table for them also, that could include other important family members—say god-parents, or close family members.

If you have further questions, feel free to ask.

Angela Fiebelkorn, Ask The Wedding Expert

Filed Under: Ask The Expert, Etiquette, Reception, Reception Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,