The Ins and Outs of Wedding Gifts Etiquette

Did you know that last year alone, people have spent a total of $6.9 billion on wedding gifts? This is according to research from The Wedding Report. That’s a lot of money, right? And now here you are, trying to figure out what wedding gift to buy and how much to spend for the couple who most recently invited you. To avoid breaking the bank without looking like a cheapskate, here are some wedding gift etiquette rules to help you get through with this.

1.    How much should I spend?
The typical amount that people spend is $75, a price that you’d have to double if you’re bringing a date. Don’t hesitate to ask other guests how much they’re planning to spend so you have some idea. Certain factors can also help in determining the answer to this question and these include your budget and your relationship with the bride or groom. Guidelines tells us that for a co-worker’s wedding, prepare to spend $75 to $100; if it’s a friend or relative, $100 to $125 will do; and for someone really close to you, you can go from $125 up.

2.    Should I consider the price per dinner plate or venue’s classiness?
These things should never be a factor in your gift shopping. It would be like thinking that the wedding gift is the “admission price” to the event. What it should really be is a symbol of your wish for the couple to have a happy and fulfilled life together.

3.    Do I still give a gift even if I can’t attend the wedding?
Yes, you sure do. Whether you’re attending the wedding or not, it would be a kind gesture that the couple would really appreciate if you bequeath them with something that will not only commemorate the occasion but also help them in starting this new chapter in their lives together. Giving a present shows the couple that you really care for them and that even though circumstances didn’t allow you to be there physically, you’re with them spiritually.

4.    Is it necessary to buy a gift from the registry?
Buying your gift from the registry is a good idea for many reasons. For one, you get to save time and energy. Another is that there’s less risk involved. You can be sure that the gift you’re buying is not a duplicate of what others have bought. And it’s certain that the couple will like it and will find good use for it. The only problem with gift registries is that they lack a personal touch, like you didn’t really spend much time and effort in buying the gift. But you can resolve this by including a personal note. Also, if you’re going for the gift registry route, shop early so there are still a lot of choices available.

5.    Can I give a check or cash to the bride and groom?
Cash or check gifts are usually welcome, unless the couple comes from a culture that considers it inappropriate.

6.    Can I send a gift later on?
It’s fine to attend the event and send the gift later but don’t wait until you’ve received the thank you note before you make your move. It’s not proper to wait for more than six months.

Knowing these wedding gift etiquette rules will definitely ease your mind and help you have a stress-free shopping activity.

What Is An Appropriate Wedding Gift? – Ask The Wedding Expert Answer

Question from Carl:

I have been invited to a wedding.  On the invitation it says  “Best wishes only”.  What do I do, gift, gift card, card only?

Answer from The Wedding Expert:

Hi Carl.  What a guest gives as a gift is completely at their discretion, based on how close they feel to the couple being married.  There are no etiquette rules about gift giving, only rules around asking for gifts.

So the question is:  what do you feel is appropriate to congratulate them on their marriage.   If you feel you want to give only a card, you can do so.  Otherwise, you can give as you choose.  From an etiquette standpoint, it is appropriate to give a card and some type of gift whenever asked to a wedding.  How elaborate the gift you give is dependent upon your financial means and how close you feel to the couple.

Angela Fiebelkorn, certified wedding planner

Ask The Wedding Expert

How Do I Tell People “no gifts” For Our Wedding? – Ask The Wedding Expert

Question from Marcia:

I’m 54 and my future husband is 53.  This is my 3rd marriage and his 2nd.  I feel embarrassed to have a gift registry as I’ve already read your advise on saying no gifts.  One guest has emailed asking if we have a registry anywhere.  I don’t yet and I’m not sure what to do.  I know we would like to buy a copper hanging pot rack from the U.S. but we don’t need a lot of knick knack things. I was just going to tell people “no gifts”   What to do?

Answer from Bridal Expert Angela:

Hi Marcia.  You do not need to have a gift registry, and you can just let people give what they want to give.  You might consider the fact that some travel agencies have gift registres, as well as “do it yourself” stores if you want to build or deck or some other home project.  One couple I know just told people who asked that a gift certificate for some activity would be perfect.  They got movie certificates, dinner certificates, go-cart racing certificates, mini-golfing certificates and many other things.  They said that they used them for their weekly ”date nights” and had a year of great activities. 

I hope these suggestions will give you some ideas.  If you really feel strongly about “no gifts”, you could verbally communicate that to people who ask you.  They still may give you a wedding gift, though. 

Angela Fiebelkorn, Ask The Wedding Expert

Wedding Thank You Notes for Gifts or Money

This video is about Thank You Notes for Gifts and Cash/Money, how to write them and the etiquette behind them. It’s part of a free wedding planning series.

It will teach you what to write in your Thank You notes, how to address the people who gave you gifts or cash, and when to send those notes.

Wedding Gifts Etiquette – demystified and made simple

What an important topic: wedding gifts etiquette. Explained and made simple by Wedding Expert Angela Fiebelkorn. Part of the Free Wedding Planning Series.