Top 7 Wedding Invitations Etiquette Rules

There are so many things that you have to know about wedding etiquette. And it’s not just about pleasing the conservative members of both sides’ families but about giving respect to all the people that you’re inviting to your special day. Here are the top seven rules that you should know about wedding invitation etiquette.

1.    Invitational Line
Tradition dictates that the parents of the bride issue the wedding invitations, as they are the ones paying for and hosting the event. Since this is the case, the names of the bride’s parents should appear on the first line in the wedding invite. Mr. and Mrs. is staple for the names of the brides’ parents. But in some situations, they can be written down in separate lines like if the mother chose to keep her maiden name or the parents are divorced. For these cases, the mother’s name should come first, followed by the father’s name. Also, if the bride and groom are getting married for the second time, they should be the ones issuing the invite. This means their names go on the first line.

2.    Request Line
For ceremonies to be held in a house of worship such as a church, temple or synagogue, the recommended line to use is “request the honor of your presence.” Something less formal such as “request the pleasure of your company” or “invites you to be part of this joyous occasion” are appropriate for ceremonies outside religious settings.

3.    Date, Year and Time
If you want to go with tradition, you need to have the date line written out in full (e.g. fifth of February, two thousands and twelve, five in the afternoon). Skip out numerals and abbreviations. The year line is optional but it’s not improper if you prefer to include it.

4.    Location Lines
Common sense and not etiquette dictates that the location be included in the invitation. Where do people go if you don’t tell them where the wedding is, right? Address is necessary if the wedding location is not common knowledge. Don’t use any abbreviations. Zip code may be added but it’s not required.

5.    No Children
Are you thinking of not allowing children in your wedding? If yes, remember that it’s not proper to say in the invitation that children are not welcome. It’s better to have this shared by word of mouth before your big day comes. However, modern wedding invitations can include the phrase “adult only reception” in the reception card.

6.    Attire
The assumption is that if the event is taking place in a house of worship or in the evening, then it’s a Black Tie affair. If it’s not going to be held under these circumstances or if you wish to have another type of attire, then be sure to indicate that in the wedding invite.

7.    Gift Registry
Conservative guests will frown upon the inclusion of gift registry information in your wedding invitation. It’s like you’re asking something in return for their attendance. It’s best to spread the info about this through word of mouth.
These etiquette rules help ensure that you get everything right when it comes to the wedding invitation.

Can I Use Postcards For A RSVP Card? – Ask The Wedding Expert Answer

Question from Stacey:

First off I love your web sites, I’ve found lots of helpful information on them.

My question has to do with RSVP cards, I’m making my own invitations and RSVP cards and to save money on envelopes I was thinking of making the RSVP cards postcard style, and I was wondering if this would be an appropriate idea.

Thank you for any advice you could give.

Answer from Bridal Expert Angela:

Hi Stacey, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding.  Formal weddings have all kinds of etiquette rules about wedding invitations—from the paper colour to the type of printing, and so forth.  So, I am assuming you are having a contemporary or informal wedding.

I have to congratulate you on making your own invitations!  Most people can’t be bothered to go through the work involved.  Have you seen the video I made on wedding invitation wording?  You might find it helpful.

As for the RSVP cards, having postcards is a lovely idea.  It gives you the opportunity to really personalize your wedding, and create a great statement.  Although, this is not something that is ‘traditional’, it is a modern alternative.

Congratulations, and if you have further questions, feel free to ask!

Angela Fiebelkorn, Ask The Wedding Expert
certified WPIC Wedding Planner and Coordinator

How Do We Ask For Money On Our Wedding Invitation? – The Wedding Expert Answer

Question from Laura:

My fiance and I have been living together for 2 1/2 years and have no need for a registery.  How do we word the rsvp card so people just give us whatever money they can.

Answer from Wedding Expert Angela:

Hi Laura.  It is very poor etiquette to ask for money for a gift.  I suggest you go through your home, and pick out items that need replacing and put them in a registry.  Some travel agencies have a bridal registry, so you could register there.  I made a video on wedding gift etiquette that you should watch so you know the correct way of informing your guests of  your registries. 

If you have further questions, feel free to ask.

Angela Fiebelkorn, The Wedding Expert

How Do I Word Wedding Invitations? – Ask The Expert Answer

Question from Aaron:

Hello, I am needing urgent help on the creation of my wife and my invitations.  We had a civil union at the court house and we are now going to have a wedding ceremony and reception.  The pastor doing the ceremony said we can do just like normal ceremony.  Can I word the invitations as such?  Thank you.

Answer from Wedding Expert Angela:

Hi Aaron.  The reason you can do your wedding ceremony like a normal ceremony is that it is a religious ceremony.  The only part of the ceremony you don’t have to do is the “signing of the register” which means signing your marriage license.  You have already done that at the courthouse.  Your religious institution might have a “register” that you will need to sign.  Ask your pastor.

Normally, when a couple are already married, they usually just have a wedding reception, and the wording is as follows:  ……invites you to celebrate the recent marriage of…..  Since you want to include both the ceremony and the reception, you can just word it the regular way.

Invitations start with whomever is paying for (hosting) the wedding.   The wording starts with Mr. & Mrs. I’m-paying-for-the-wedding request the honour of your presence at the marriage of brides name to grooms name son of Mr. & Mrs. Grooms Parents Name followed by when and where.  There are two schools of thought on adding the groom’s parents names.  One says their names are included only if they are paying for part of the wedding.  The other says they are included irregardless of whether they contribute to the wedding costs. 

The traditional wedding costs paid for by the groom’s family are:  alcohol at the reception, and the rehearsal dinner to name the largest expenses. 

If you have further questions, please feel free to email again.

Angela Fiebelkorn, Ask The Wedding Expert

How Do We Word Our Wedding Invitations? – Ask The Expert Answer

Question from Charlotte:

We are planning to be married in May.  It will be a private wedding, but we want to have a reception after the marriage for our friends.  How do I word the invitation?

Answer from Bridal Expert Angela:

Hi Charlotte, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding.  The wedding invitation starts with whomever is paying for the wedding, for they are the ones inviting the guests.  So, the invitations would state:

Mr. & Mrs. Paying-For-Wedding cordially invite you to the wedding reception of ”bride’s name” daughter of …… to “groom’s name” son of ….. etc.  If you are having the reception on a different day than your wedding, the invitation would state….cordially invite you to celebrate the recent marriage of …..

Here is some additional wedding invitation wording for you to review before making your final choice.  If you have further questions, feel free to email again.

Angela Fiebelkorn, Ask The Expert

Planning Weddings Take Time, So Give Yourself Plenty Of Time

Question from Pam:

The wedding date for my daughter is 9/9/2009. Send any and all advice you want and can to start to prepare. Thank you.

Answer from Wedding Expert Angela:

Hi Pam.  Since you have only 7 months left before the wedding, the most important things to be done first are to book the ceremony and reception sites, clergy, caterer, florist, music, photographer, and videographer.  These places and people get booked up quickly, so this need to be done immediately.  Usually this is done 9 to 12 months, or earlier before a wedding.  Check out these wedding planning books.

The tasks that are usually completed 6 to 9 months before the wedding are to order the wedding gown and accessories (bridal shoes, headpiece, wedding night lingerie, wedding handbags, etc.), order bridesmaids dresses, and men’s attire.  The wedding colour scheme and decor should be decided so planning of decorations can start.  The guest list should be finalized, invitations ordered, and save-the-date cards sent to out-of-town guests.  The bride should register at the bridal registries by the sixth month.

Anything not confirmed with the caterers, musicians, ceremony or reception sites, rental of tables, chairs, tents, fountains, arches, etc., should be completed by the sixth month.  A system to track guest invitation responses, gifts received, and thank you notes sent is needed.  The bride should help the mother of the bride and groom choose their dresses so it fits the decor/wedding colours chosen.

Some other things to be done by the sixth month are for the engaged couple to start dance lessons if needed, and start beauty treatments like teeth whitening, facials, brow shaping, etc.

The more complex and larger the wedding, the longer the details take to plan.  If you are planning a smaller wedding, it will be easier.  I have received many a sad story from brides who did not get their wedding gown in time for the wedding, or have things not turn out the way they wanted because everything took so much longer than they thought it would.  I suggest that the planning process steadily move forward every week, or there will be more stress before the wedding.  Many a bride and groom have shared how exhausted they were by time the wedding came that they barely remember it.  Good planning will alleviate this problem.

All the bridal magazines have a wedding planning checklist, and there are many on-line that are available to you if you “google” it.  If you have any other questions, feel free to email me again.

Angela Fiebelkorn, The Wedding Expert

Summer Wedding Invitations For Your Summer Wedding

signature-ecru-enchanting-forest-wedding-invitations

A summer wedding is very popular with brides, and finding just the right wedding invitation to express your personal style is easy with the many choices of summer wedding invitations available.  Wedding Paper Divas has teamed up with the ultrachic designers at DwellStudio to bring you an exclusive new line of inspiring and modern wedding stationery. 

This splendid, sketched design with bright bursts of color creates a warm sense of artistry in this stylish wedding set.  Along with the wedding invitation, you have a choice of matching enclosure cards, place cards, save the date cards, thank you cards, reception cards, and response cards.  

These cards are completely customizable.  You can customize the wording of your invitations, and an electronic version will be sent to you for final approval before the printing of your invitations.  The invitations come in sets of 25 for ease in ordering. 

The colours in this series of invitations can be changed to match your wedding colours, and you have 30 different colours to choose from.  In addition, you have the choice of ink colours.  Printed on 110 lb Ecru Felt cardstock that has been created with 30% post consumer recycled materials, it has a creamy colour and a subtle texture reminiscent of fine artist’s paper. 

Whatever your choices, you have a wide range of summer wedding invitations to choose from.

Save-The-Date Cards Are An Important Part Of Your Wedding Planning

You are getting married and are considering using Save-The-Date cards.  Many couples find that they are unsure of how to use these cards when they are sending out wedding invitations anyway.

The use of Save-The-Date Cards are important if you have out-of-town guests.  These cards are sent out nine to twelve months before your wedding to give your guests time to plan their trip.  Many times, these out-of-town guests need time to budget, make travel arrangements, and sometimes even find someone to care for their children if they are attending without them.

It is considered proper etiquette to assist your out-of-town guests with whatever arrangements you can manage.  Information about which airport is closest to the wedding site, help with transportation once they arrive, and arranging for a group rate at a hotel are all welcome your guest.  Sometimes you can enlist family members to transport out-of-town guests from the hotel to the church and back to the reception site.  Other times, you might have a family member rent a van or other multiple person vehicle.

Hotels will often arrange discounted group rates, especially if your reception is being held in the hotel.  It is tradition that the arrangements for out-of-town guests be managed by the groom’s family.  They would be responsible for the arrangements for all out-of-town guests.  This would include transportation costs once they have arrived in your city, discounted room rates, and sometimes they also pay for brunch the day after the wedding.

Today, both families might contribute to the cost of the wedding, and some of these older traditions are also shared.  When planning your wedding, it is important to discuss all financial arrangements with your family early in the planning process.  As a group, you may decide to share all expenses, or you might follow traditional responsibilities of who pays for various aspects of the wedding.  Sometimes, especially if the couple are older, they pay for all expenses without any contributions from their family.

Whatever your situation, save-the-date cards have become an important part of your wedding planning because so many family and friends live in other cities, provinces, and countries.  Sending a package of helpful information to make their planning easier is a considerate thing to do.