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Who Stands In The Receiving Line At A Wedding? – Ask The Expert Answer

July 29, 2009 By Leave a Comment

Question from Ruth:

Hi again.  I have another question – who is it that stands in the receiving line – wedding party includes candle lighter, ring bearer, Maid of Honour and Best Man.  Do all of them stand in the receiving line, including the parents?  Also, do all of them sit at the head table (excluding parents).  Thanks!

Answer from Wedding Expert Angela:

Hi Ruth.  Nice to hear from you again.  Ah, yes, the receiving line.  It is a ‘rule of etiquette’ that a wedding has a receiving line, although if you don’t have a receiving line, the bride and groom must visit every person invited to the wedding during the evening.  It is much easier to do a receiving line.

THE RECEIVING LINE

A tradition, formal receiving line has, from right to left facing the guests:  the bride’s mother, the groom’s mother, bride, groom, maid of honour, and all of the bridesmaids.  If you so choose, the fathers can be included next to their spouse.  If the fathers aren’t in the receiving line, their “job” is to act as hosts (with the best man) at the reception site, greeting guests, and directing them to the bar for cocktails, and so forth.

A contemporary receiving line can include any of the wedding party that the couple wishes to include.  Usually, it follows this order:  mother of the bride, father of the bride, bride, groom, mother of the groom, father of the groom.

If parents are divorced and relations are strained, the receiving line can be:  mother of the bride, father of the groom, bride, groom, mother of the groom, father of the bride.

If the wedding is under 125 people, the entire wedding party can be included in the receiving line.  This includes the bestman, and groomsmen.  The bestman, will stand next to the maid of honour, and the bridesmaids and groomsmen will be with their wedding party partner inthe lineup.  If the wedding has over 125 guests, the receiving line is usually kept shorter:  bride, groom, mothers of the bride and groom, and the maid of honour.  Again, the fathers can be included or not, as you choose.

It is proper etiquette that each person in the receiving line greet the guest, and introduce them to the next person in the receiving line.  That “next person” then greets the guest, and introduces the next person in the receiving line.  This eliminates the need of your guests to create ‘small talk’ with each person in the receiving line.

If this is a second wedding (commonly called an encore wedding), the parents of the bride and groom will not be in the receiving line unless they are paying for the wedding.  If the couple have children, they can be included in the receiving line (if they want to be there).

THE HEAD TABLE

As for the head table, it is tradition to have the wedding party from left to right (when facing the head table):  bridesmaid, groomsmen, bridesmaid, bestman, bride, groom, maid of honour, groomsmen, bridesmaid, groomsmen.  In addition to this you would have a “parents’ table” (usually seated at the usual 8′ round table) which would have the officiant, groom’s mother, groom’s father, bride’s mother, bride’s father, and two spots of other important persons at the wedding.

The candle lighter, and the ring bearer are not included in the receiving line or head table, although you may choose to honour them by giving them a table of their own next to the parent’s table.  They should be seated with their family members, if at all possible, at this special table.

Many couples choose to also honour their grandparents by having a special table for them also, that could include other important family members—say god-parents, or close family members.

If you have further questions, feel free to ask.

Angela Fiebelkorn, Ask The Wedding Expert

Filed Under: Ask The Expert, Etiquette, Reception, Reception Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Gift Card Holders Add To Your Wedding Decor

June 25, 2009 By Leave a Comment
reception-gift-card-holder

At every wedding, guests will bring a card to congratulate the happy couple.  These cards often have money in them, or gift certificates, and you want somewhere to put them that is safe.

Gift card holders are just the solution for holding all your wedding cards.  They come in many great shapes from a square to bird cage designs.  This particular gift card holder is made of metal and has a scrolling vine pattern, dazzling glitter, and a fun metal gift bow.  The card holder has a white cardboard insert that can be place on the bottom to prevent envelopes from falling out.

With many weddings today, cash gifts are common, and it is important to have a safe place to put all those envelopes once the guests have all arrived.  Putting the envelopes into a hotel safe, or locking it in the trunk of your car are good options.  Sometimes, a reliable person will hang on to the envelopes throughout the entire evening for the couple.

The beauty of the gift card holder will add to your wedding reception decorations, and give you a great place to keep your wedding cards.  In years to come you can use it for birthdays, and other occasions.

Filed Under: Ask The Expert, Decorations, invitations, Reception, Wedding Ideas Tagged With: , , ,

What Centerpieces Should I Use In August? – Ask The Wedding Expert Answer

May 1, 2009 By Leave a Comment

Question from Fran:

My wedding is August , 2009. The reception will be in the commons of my high school-really lovely setting. What should I use as centerpieces during such a hot month. Candles seem hot yet romantic. 

Answer from Wedding Expert Angela:

Hi Fran, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding.  The two most popular centrepieces are candles and flowers–alone or in combination.  This video on Wedding Reception Table Centerpieces will give you some ideas.  Candles do not give off much heat, and they are so beautiful and classic on a dinner table.  The soft candlelight is quite romantic and beautiful. 

If you wanted to do something completely different, you could use rose bowls or vases with water/goldfish in them.  A tall vase filled with lemons and limes is quite dramatic.  Pay attention to tables in magazine pictures or on tv shows.  You will be amazed at the variety of centrepieces you will suddenly notice.  Head to your local magazine store and browse through the bridal magazines.  Look at all the centrepieces to get ideas.  Your public library will also have books on decorating to give you yet more ideas.

Good luck, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding. 

Angela Fiebelkorn, The Wedding Expert

Filed Under: Ask The Expert, Decorations, Flowers, Reception Tagged With: , ,

Wedding Reception Table Centerpiece Ideas – Ask the Wedding Expert Answer

April 30, 2009 By Leave a Comment

Question from Shirin:

I am having a reception on the deck of a heritage home with round 6 person tables. As our dinner will be family style (one large dish per table to
share) I am having trouble with selecting a centerpiece style which will not be obtrusive or awkward at the tables. Any ides for how to make the table still look pretty.

Answer from Wedding Expert Angela:

Hi Shirin and congratulations on your upcoming wedding.  I believe you are referring to Russian or Homestyle service for your meal where dishes or bowls of each type of food served will be placed on table, and the guests serve themselves as they choose.  I don’t think it is just one large dish of food as your email suggests. 

You have two basic choices for table centrepieces–low or high.  Low can be flowers, sand with tealights or blossoms, or water with floating candles.  You might be interested in a more modern choice of a dramatic dessert plate since you have Russian service for your meal.  It would suit your meal style perfectly.  High would be the use of trumpet vases where the actual arrangement is quite high and out of table sight-lines. 

This video called Wedding Reception Table Centerpieces will give you some ideas of your choices.  Good luck, and if you have further questions, feel free to email again.

Angela Fiebelkorn, Wedding Expert

Filed Under: Ask The Expert, Decorations, Reception, Wedding Ideas Tagged With: , ,

How Do I Create A Cocktail Wedding Reception? – Ask The Wedding Expert Answer

March 13, 2009 By 4 Comments

Question from Leah:

Hi!  I recently decided to do a cocktail style reception for my wedding.  We have too many guests for a sitdown dinner at our venue and don’t want to cut our guest list.  I was wondering if you have some ideas on how to keep the reception “wedding like?”  We want the elegance of a sitdown dinner and want to incorporate some of the traditional components to a reception (ie. announcement of the wedding party, toasts/speeches, cutting of the cake, etc) I would like to have a head table still but don’t know how to do that because we are unable to have enough tables and chairs for all our guests. Do you have ideas on how to keep the ‘wow factor’ and have guests talking about the reception when most of them want the traditional sit down dinner?  What are some unique ideas for the coctail reception?

Answer from Wedding Expert Angela:

Hi Leah, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding.  A cocktail style wedding reception is by its nature less formal than a sit-down dinner.  A cocktail reception does not have a meal, although hors d’ouevres are typical.  At a cocktail reception, everyone will be standing, and as a result, will not stay as long as at a reception where people can sit.  In addition, you need to make accommodation for anyone elderly who does need to have to sit down.  Cocktail receptions usually do not have a head table. 

Most cocktail receptions are held at art galleries, museums, formal gardens or the like.  Beverages and hor d’ouevres are served while people walk around and visit with each other, but the focus is on the location.  Walking through a gallery, or a formal garden will give your guests something to do since they can’t sit down.  Whenever I have attended a cocktail reception in a single room without chairs, it has never lasted more than one and a half hours.  You will need to consider that in your plans.  People expect to be able to sit down, get tired when they can’t, and leave.  We are a sedentary society.

As the “host” of the party, the comfort of your guests is your number one consideration.  Would YOU be comfortable standing an entire evening while eating, drinking and dancing?  Have you spoken to your reception venue?  They are the experts in receptions, and they may have some alternatives for you.  Groupings of arm chairs and sofas to create conversation areas throughout the reception room might be nice way to allow people to sit.  Your reception site might have this available to you.  I would speak to them about your plans, and get their input.  They know their business, and can best advise you as to what seating they have available to you.

I have attended many cocktail receptions, and the biggest WOW factor occurred at a formal garden.  They had the entire garden lit with torches, and path-lights.  There were “wine stations” throughout the garden along the paths, and two groups of musicians playing different styles of music at different ends of the garden.  There were waiters and waitresses walking around bringing hors d’ouevres and wine to the guests.  At the centre of the garden was beautiful patio seating where the older guests sat.  Along the paths were benches, so people could sit a bit before moving on.  Everyone mingled, talked about the gardens, and total strangers spoke with each other about the gardens and how beautiful everything was.  People stayed the entire evening.  The people I attended the event with still talk about how beautiful and magical that reception was. 

So what made it so successful?  There was always something new to see and do.  Guests could sit for a bit before moving on to something new again.  There was seating and a clear dance area around each group of musicians.  The waiters and waitresses were personable, and informed about the hors d’ouevres and the gardens and added to the conversation.  There was a bit of a ceremony at one point in the reception, which gathered  the group together at the centre of the garden.  After the official part of the reception, about 1/4 of the guests left, but the rest remained and continue to enjoy themselves.  By this time, there was a place for almost everyone to sit. 

Somehow you need to find a way to get seating into the room.  You can get away with not having tables, but you need seating of some kind.  The best solution is groupings of furniture strategically placed throughout the room.  Speak to your reception venue to see what is available to you for your number of guests. 

If you are just in a single room for your reception, you need to keep people engaged and interested in the proceedings.  A good DJ can do this through special dances, and other activities.  I have seen magicians at a wedding reception wandering the room, entertaining people.  There are many things that can be done, but first you need to get the venue seating resolved before anything else can be decided. 

Good luck.  I am interesed in how you finalize your plans, and would welcome an email from you again.

Angela Fiebelkorn, Ask The Wedding Expert

Filed Under: Ask The Expert, Reception, Wedding Ideas Tagged With: , , ,

How Do I Handle A Wedding Reception That Does Not Have A Sit-Down Dinner? – Ask The Expert Answer

March 6, 2009 By 1 Comment

Question from Denise:

We are not having a sit-down dinner at my reception. What is the proper layout for tables/chairs for the guests? Should we have some tables/chairs available for those who need to sit?

Answer from Bridal Expert Angela:

Hi Denise, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding.  The key thing when planning any party is the comfort of your guests.  If you have a lot of “older” people, having a place for them to sit is very appropriate.  If your guests are mostly younger, they will not mind standing so much. 

I am assuming that you are having a buffet of some type.  It is always more comfortable to sit and eat at a table than to stand and eat, so you might consider that in your plans.  I was at a garden wedding (formal city gardens) with servers walking around serving wine and hors d’ouevres.  All the benches throughout the garden, as well as the table and chairs set up in the centre of the garden were full.  People like to sit.  If people can’t sit, they will leave the reception sooner, so your time schedule is a factor in this.

I hope this helps, and if you have further questions, feel free to ask. 

Angela Fiebelkorn, Ask The Expert

Filed Under: Ask The Expert, planning, Reception Tagged With: , , ,

How Do I Find A Wedding Planner? – Ask The Wedding Expert Answer

January 3, 2009 By Leave a Comment

Question from Carra:

Hello, I live in Victoria, BC and I am planning on getting married next year, and a friend of mine gave me her planner from 2006 and I was wondering where we can get one for 2009.

Answer from The Wedding Expert:

Hi Carra, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding.  There are many wedding planners available on the market, but they usually come in four styles.  First, you can find wedding planning checklists all over the internet if you search for them.  I suggest looking at more than one list, because each list is slightly different and this will give you more ideas for your wedding.  You can print the list(s) and keep everything organized in a binder for yourself.

The second type of wedding planner that I have regularly seen is the kind often available at bridal shows.  These are usually created locally and have suggestions for local vendors who specialize in weddings.  I suggest you attend your local bridal shows to see what is available in your area.

The third type of wedding planner is commercial style books/albums/keepsakes that are available in all the major bookstores, and of course, can be found on-line with a ‘wedding planner book’ search.  These planners are often quite different from each other, each giving information in a different way.  Some of these planners become a keepsake book for you at the end of the wedding process.

The fourth type of wedding planner is to hire a wedding planner to look after all the details for you.  Many brides discount this option as being too expensive, but consider hiring a wedding planner to do only part of your wedding process.  For example, the most common problem brides have is deciding how to decorate their reception space to create the feeling that they want.  By hiring a wedding planner to only ‘decorate the reception space’ you will get the best of both worlds—cost savings by doing most of the planning yourself, and wisely spending money on the part of the wedding planning process that is too much for you.

I suggest you check to see who published the wedding planner that was lent to you.  There might be a phone number or contact information if it is locally produced, or if it is a commercial style, you can ask at a bookstore to see if that publisher has a 2009 version of the wedding planner. 

The wedding planning process should be a joyful time, but can get stressful.  Your bridal party is there to help you, your family and friends can help out, and you can hire people to do all or part of the work.  You have many options.  Enjoy the memories you are creating!

Angela Fiebelkorn, The Wedding Expert

Filed Under: Ask The Expert, Reception Tagged With: , , , , ,

How To Choose Your Wedding Reception Site

November 20, 2008 By Leave a Comment
Wedding reception sites fall into two categories: one where you rent the space and bring in your own catering, and one where the space, caterers and bar service are all included. The wedding reception is the most expensive part of your wedding budget and usually takes 40% – 45% of your wedding budget. Because of this, it is very important to shop around be aware of the many options available to you.

Your wedding reception site choice hinges on a few factors and you need to be clear about what is most important to you. Do you prefer the convenience of having the reception location look after the catering, beverage service, and rentals for you? Or are you willing to find a great location and arrange the caterer, beverage service, and any rentals yourself? There are always compromises to make when choosing your wedding reception site, so take notes when you interview and tour a location.

Make sure to ask how many guests the space can accommodate; how many hours the rental fee covers, what the cooking restrictions are (in-house caterer, or list of approved outside caterers); is there a piano available; are there union rules you need to follow; what else is happening on the site on your wedding day; are there any minimum charges (catering or corkage fees); how late can you play music or stay on-site; are there insurance requirements; and lastly, are there any surcharges (if you bring in your own caterers or music or decorations)?

Step one is to allow enough time to find a location and make all the arrangements. Prime locations are usually quickly snapped up, especially for the spring and summer dates that are so popular for wedding. Plan at least a year in advance to give yourself time to shop around and still find a date that suits you.

Step two is to know how many guests you will be inviting. Your reception site will need to accommodate that number of guests.

Step three is to narrow your wedding reception site list down to three to six of your favourite sites. Phone to see if your date is available, and if it is, make an appointment to view the premises. Bring your fiancé (or a friend) to help inspect the facilities with you.

Step four is to view the physical premises. Is the room big enough? Where would the buffet (dinner or dessert) be placed? Where would the bar be? Where would the band or music man be placed? Where would the dance floor be? Are the bathrooms conveniently located? Are there adequate coat racks? Can you adjust the lighting (dimmer switches) to create the mood you want? How will the traffic flow from one area to another? Does it look comfortable?

Step five is to meet with the catering or sales manager. Honestly discuss your budget, and the number of guests you want to invite. Get a written detailed price breakdown of food, beverages, service, centrepieces, linens, china, fountains, archways or any other things that you discuss.

Step six is to ask to see a wedding reception set-up, especially if you have trouble visualizing a decorated space. You may have to make another trip when they are having a wedding, and you may have to view it before the reception starts, but it is a great way to get a true picture of what the place will look like all set up. Pay attention to the staff—are they relaxed and working, or running around in a panic? This will tell you a lot about a place, and how organized they are.

Step seven is to ask for a taste-test of the food. This is especially important if you are having difficulty deciding what menu items to have, or which desserts to use. There are more people who are vegan, and you might want to have a vegan meal and a meat meal as a choice for your guests. Some places do not do taste tests, but usually they will suggest an alternative—visit their Sunday buffet or sample a meal at another event they have planned. It is up to you to decide how important this is to you.

Step eight is to finally decide which location you want. When you sign the contract, and put down your deposit, ensure that all the details you have discussed are written down. If you make any changes to the menu or decorations, or if they agree to certain additions at no charge, make sure these changes are put in writing. Whether it is the catering manager or the sales manager that you are dealing with, ensure that you have their name and that they will be there during your wedding. You want to make sure there is a contact person to speak to on your wedding day who knows your requirements, and that you know so you can discuss any problems that come up.

Because you will be booking your wedding reception site well in advance, periodically phone them to confirm that there have been no changes or problems that have come up (they sold the business, or a marching band is having a competition the same night next door to your wedding reception). Taking the time to properly plan your wedding reception will go a long way to ensuring your wedding day will be smooth and seamless.

 

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